Ron Swanson Letterpress 2018 Desk Calendar


2018 letterpress desk calendar featuring quotes from Parks & Rec’s Ron Swanson! Spiral bound and freestanding! Size is approx. 4” x 5.5”

January … “When people get a little too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.”

February … “Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.”

March … “Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.”

April … “Either you like bacon or you’re wrong.”

May … “Never half ass two things, Whole ass one thing.”

June … “Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat and cats are pointless.”

July … “Dear Frozen Yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing.”

August … “Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait … wait. I worry what you just heard was ‘give me a lot of bacon and eggs.’ What I said was ‘give me all the bacon and eggs you have.’ Do you understand?”

September … “Son, don’t try to understand women. Women understand women and they hate each other. “

October … “There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk, which is water that’s lying about being milk.”

November … “If your dad doesn’t have a mustache than you have two moms.”

December … The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am. I’m not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.”

Lovingly printed by hand on Big Sal, our vintage Chandler and Price Letterpress printing press onto 100% post-consumer waste stock.

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