Ron Swanson 2019 Letterpress Desk Calendar
Featuring all of your favorite “Swansonism” quotes from your favorite Parks & Rec character! The 2019 Desk Calendar featuring Ron Swanson has 14 pages (12-months plus cover and back cover) and is letterpress printed in black and bound in silver.
January: Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait … wait. I worry what you just heard was ‘give me a lot of bacon eggs.’ What i said was, ‘give me all the bacon and eggs you have.’ Do you understand?
February: Never half ass two things, whole ass one thing.
March: Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat and cats are pointless.
April: Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga except I still get to kill something.
May: When people get a little too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.
June: If your dad doesn’t have a mustache then you have two moms.
July: There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk, which is water that’s lying about being milk.
August: Dear Frozen Yogurt, You are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing.
September: Son, don’t try to understand women. Women understand women and they hate each other.
October: The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am. I’m not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.
November: Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.
December: Either you like bacon or you’re wrong.
All of our desk calendars are handprinted (one at a time) on vintage midcentury Chandler & Price letterpress printing presses.